Fountain's Thoughts

Hope is the anchor of our souls. I know of no one who is not in need of hope – young or old, strong or weak, rich or poor.

(James E. Faust)

 

Okay, let me lay my cards on the table.  I have not been feeling too well lately.  One of the consequences is I have been feeling pretty hope-less.  That is to say, I have lacked hope.  I do not say this to elicit sympathy or for warm fuzzy comments.  I say it simply because, it is a fact.

I will also point out (for the sake of honesty) this; it is my own fault.  I cannot point the finger at anybody else, I have done it to myself. 

I have this very bad habit of filling all my moments of my days with unceasing activity.  I see what needs to be done and, I do it.  I see what doesn’t need to be done and I do that too.  The consequence of that is, I get “over tired”.  When I am over tired, I lose vision and perspective and so I work harder to achieve and on and on it goes.

This is nothing new for me.  As my wife pointed out “we have had the same discussion for the last 20 odd years!”  Every year I promise I will do better, I have not managed it yet!

Things have been so “out of kilter” for me recently that my quiet times and devotions have been rushed and have been done more out of habit than anything else. 

This morning was different. 

I had more time available to me (which I wasn’t expecting) so I got to be a bit more leisurely with the Bible and actually listen to what God was saying to me.  The passage came from Mark 2 when Jesus says;

The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath

(Mark 2 vs. 27)

 It was as if God was reminding me of something that we have discussed more often than I care to remember.  Sabbath is not a luxury it is a necessity and it is there for me to stop so that life can be brought back into perspective.  I was feeling hope-less because I was Sabbath-less.  I then turned to a verse in Proverbs which says;

Hope deferred makes the heart sick,

But a longing fulfilled is a tree of life

(Proverbs 13 vs. 12)

 When we lose hope it is almost like toxins are released into our system.  We can become negative, critical, angry, cynical and discouraged.  We can even convince ourselves that God has abandoned us.

It is a lie

God never stops working!

What Sabbath can do is help us to change our vision.  Refocus.  It helps us to see what God is doing rather than what I think God should be doing. 

The Sabbath was made for you, not you for the Sabbath

 I feel a great deal better now!

I have just come back from the Fresh Streams Conference.  This is one of the highlights of my year.  I get a chance to meet up with friends and colleagues, great teaching and amazing worship.  I went with a real sense of expectation that God would speak to me at some point, in some way.

I came back feeling quite disturbed, unsettled, more questions than answers.

Now, before you stop reading, this is not a negative blog nor criticism.  Sometimes, I think, God can use that unsettling feeling to speak to us and, perhaps, feeling a little unsettled was something I needed at this moment in time.

One of the main speakers was somebody I have heard a couple of times before.  He is someone I respect enormously and I was really looking forward to his key note talks.  During his first talk I am sure I heard him say;

The question that God asks of us is, are you growing?

My immediate reaction was to disagree!

I think God does ask questions of us.  I believe He asks questions like “do you love me?”, “are you following me?” and “what have you done with my son and those I have entrusted to you?”  I had never considered “are you growing?” as the type of question that God would ask of me.

I filed the comment away, decided I must have either misheard or, the speaker mis-spoke.  He didn’t quite mean it to “come out that way” – let’s face it, those of us who speak, sometimes come out with things we didn’t quite mean.

However, this thought came tumbling back into my mind later in the week.

It was Thursday morning.  I returned to work.  I was tired.  I had an incredibly busy day and evening ahead.  As I headed toward my office, the road was blocked as a team of Tree Surgeons trimmed and brought under control the tree opposite the Church.

I must confess, I sat in the car for a little while and watched them and, as I watched, that unsettled feeling came again and I believe God was speaking to me.

I appreciate that the pruning, trimming and controlling of a tree is very important for the life and future health of the plant concerned.  As I watched the men performing their task, it struck me just how brutal their arboreal activity seems to the untrained eye.  It was then that God brought to mind a few verses from the book of Job;

At least there is hope for a tree:
    If it is cut down, it will sprout again,
    and its new shoots will not fail.
Its roots may grow old in the ground
    and its stump die in the soil,
yet at the scent of water it will bud
    and put forth shoots like a plant.

(Job 14 vs. 7 – 9)

Sometimes, the most significant growth does not happen on the surface, it happens below the surface.  The part we cannot see. For me, these words speak of a real hope.  Even if all looks dead and finished on the surface, at the move of God’s spirit (scent of water) new life begins to happen.  What we need to be is receptive to it and prepared to engage with where God is calling us now;

Are you growing?

Jesus, famously, used the image of the vine and branches (read John 15) and said that unfruitful branches needed to be cut off in order to bear fruit.  How prepared, or willing, am I for God to do some pruning in my life?

The truth is, some things I would be quite happy for God to prune but, there are some things I want to hold onto, I want to keep, even if they are unhealthy.  However, if I keep them, they could affect the health and growth of the whole.

Are you growing?

I went to look at the tree once work was complete.  I found myself wondering if new life could possibly appear on it.  As I looked with my untrained eyes I thought the Tree Surgeons know exactly how and where to cut to not kill the tree but to help it grow again. 

There are times when I have been through some pretty severe pruning in my life but, I have to trust that God knows what He is doing and, in time, new life will appear.

Are you growing?

Have you ever felt overwhelmed?

I was listening to an item on the radio the other day. People were talking about their “to do lists”. There are many reasons why people keep them. For some, it acts as a target tracker, things they want to achieve. For some, it acts as a handy reminder a list of things that they are likely to forget if they haven’t written it down. Some people love their “to do list” they feel as though they have achieved something when they tick off the competed items.

I am one of those people that have to have a “to do list”.  I do, however, have a bit of a love / hate relationship with mine. I need it because I have a forgettery where my memory used to be. I hate it because, when I look at the list of outstanding items, it can make me feel overwhelmed, the list seems ever growing and never shrinking.

That feeling of being overwhelmed can be horrible at times. It’s like drowning under a sea of demands that never seem to ease up. Let’s face it, we can all feel like it at times.

The passage I read in the Bible today was one of those that I found it easy to relate to. The disciples were overwhelmed.

At first, they face a hungry mob of 5000 men (plus women and children). Then, for good measure, Jesus clears off up a mountain to pray whilst they have to fight a storm on the Sea of Galilee on their own.

I found myself getting quite angry.  The disciples are engaged in the task Jesus has set them, a furious storm blows up on the Sea of Galilee.  It really hit me. This is totally unfair.

They are in the boat – exactly where Jesus told them to be

They are in unity – sailing and rowing this kind of boat was a team effort

They are obedient- doing what Jesus said when He told them to do it.

It just is not fair. Surely, God would have made their passage smooth. Surely, God would have made it an easy journey, it was His will after all.

Why is it that, sometimes, we are doing the right thing, the place, the right time and life goes wrong? It has certainly happened to me, doing what I believed God wanted and it’s all blown up in my face.

Why?

There are no easy answers, and I firmly believe that “Christian platitudes” can cause serious damage! Some, well meaning, Christians that trot out their “off pat” answers are a little like cigarette packets, they should come with a health warning attached.

As I read on in the passage, it seems that my worst fears were realised when The gospel writer, Mark says;

He saw the disciples straining at the oars, because the wind was against them. Shortly before dawn he went out to them, walking on the lake. He was about to pass by them, (Mark 6 vs. 49)

Even that slight glimmer of hope, the arrival of Jesus, seems to be short lived as He goes to “pass them by”. Isn’t Jesus meant to be with us? Isn’t Jesus meant to care? Yet, he is walking past them.

As I spent time in the passage, I wondered if, maybe, I had got hold of the wrong end of the stick. Maybe, the phrase “pass them by” doesn’t mean quite what I thought it meant.  I did what all good ministers do when confronted with something they don’t understand – I turned to a commentary!

I am so pleased I did because, I found something I hadn’t realised before.

The commentary guided me back to a passage in the Old Testament where Moses asks to see the glory of God.  God tells him that Moses cannot see His face.  God will “pass by” Moses (Exodus 33 vs. 19).  The commentator suggested that is what was happening.  Jesus “passing by” was not about ignoring or not caring it is about Jesus revealing who He is to this precious bunch of disciples.

Then he climbed into the boat with them, and the wind died down. (Mark 6 vs. 51)

Jesus never intended His disciples to fight on alone.  He was not going to abandon them.  He was going to ensure they came through their time of overwhelming having experienced something more of Him.

Perhaps you are overwhelmed at the moment and perhaps you may feel that Jesus is “passing by”.   Maybe, He is just wanting to show you something more of His glory.

Yesterday morning, long before anybody else arrived in Church, I let myself into the Church and spent a bit of time in thought and in prayer.  During this time, I picked up my copy of the rule of Benedict (as you do) the rules of the Benedictine monks.  It was the very first word of the first rule that lept off the page at me;

Listen

As the rule expands, he goes on to say;

Before you start anything new, listen.

(my translation)

I found myself reflecting on the story of the boy Samuel in the temple. He is settled down for bed and hears a voice calling him so, he rushes to Eli’s side.  After several time of this happening, the penny drops for Eli and he realises that it is God speaking and says to Samuel when you hear the voice again say;

“speak Lord for your servant is listening”

(1 Samuel 3 vs. 9)

It’s been commented upon many times that in our prayer lives we often change it to “listen Lord your servant is speaking”.  It really struck me how Benedict began his rule with such a profound instruction.  Listen.

I believe many of us struggle with hearing. 

In a physical sense, the gift of hearing, of being able to listen, is something that we don’t fully appreciate until our hearing starts to fail.  Being “a bit mutton” has been turned into a bit of a joke.  Many deaf people end up feeling isolated and lonely trapped in a world where they just cannot participate to the fullest extent.  Those of us who can hear, cannot begin to understand the frustration that many deaf people feel maybe it comes from taking our hearing for granted, in fact, we often choose not to hear.

There is a background noise of life, chatter, traffic and the music.  For many years we lived in a place called Wednesbury which is just off the M6, the background rumble of the traffic was a constant to the point where we no longer heard it.  I remember, one night, getting up to the bathroom.  It was really strange.  I felt quite spooked and I couldn’t quite put my finger on why.  It was only after a while I realised, there was no traffic.  No background hum from the M6. I found out in the morning that there had been an accident and police had closed the motorway.

Listening.  Really listening, is one of the hardest things that we can learn to do but it is also one of the most precious gifts that we can give to another.

As Benedict goes on in his rules he talks about the need to not only listen with our ears, he talks about listening with our hearts.  I believe that is something that the Christian Church needs more desperately than ever these days. There is so much noise in this world anger, frustration and so many competing voices telling us what we need to do and so to actually hear the voice of God is incredibly difficult.  The prophet Isaiah says;

Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labour on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and you will delight in the richest of fare.

(Isaiah 55 vs. 2)

The problem is that when we hear all of the other competing voices, what is happening with us is it becomes a bit like “snacking” a little bit seems to do the trick and then, we are soon hungry again.  It only meets our inner hunger for a very short period of time.

A snack is quick, a feast takes time.

For our souls to be fully satisfied we need the feast that can only be found as learn to hear the voice of God.

I don’t know what you are thinking of for the New Year.  Whether the annual diet begins on 1^st or 2^nd of January and ends on the 3^rd.  But I really want to encourage you to think about is cultivating a heart that really listens to God

There was a headline in my newspaper today that caught my attention.  It read;

Blind mystic who foresaw 9/11 and Brexit predicts gloom for 2019

If I took this headline at face value (which I do not), 2019 looks as though there may be trouble ahead. I looked at the article in question and, to be honest, when I finished it I I was not inclined to take it seriously.  The “predictions” were so general, they could have fitted any number of situations and I couldn’t work out where Brexit and 9/11 fitted in.

There is a term I came across recently, future gazing.  Future gazing is about reading the signs of the times and predicting what the future may look like.  Future gazing is not just something confined to the realms of newspaper mystics but, some big corporations have future gazing departments to try and predicts trends so they can provide goods to meet changing markets.  Future gazing is something that many people do, particularly as we prepare ourselves to enter into a New Year.   

The article did make me stop and think about the coming year.  What is in store for me, our community and nation 2019?  In all honesty, I have not got a clue.  I know that some people find this kind of uncertainty unsettling and so, for them, future gazing can be a worrying experience.    

It made me think about a passage from Deuteronomy 30.  The people of Israel had spent 40 years wandering in the wilderness.  Now, they stood on the edge of the promised land.  Life was going to be different and, maybe, the people engaged in a bit of future gazing.  Making plans for what life could be like.  Moses takes the opportunity to remind the people that no matter what lay ahead of them, they would be faced with the choice to either walk in God’s ways or, away from God;

See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. For I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in obedience to him, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the Lord your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess. 

 

(Deuteronomy 30 vs. 15 – 16)

The same choice lays before us too.  No matter what happens, in terms of the world’s bigger picture we choose whether we will walk in God’s ways or not. 

This morning, just after I read the piece in the paper, I read a quote from Henri Nouwen which said;

Remember you are held safe.  You are loved.  You are protected.  You are in communion with God and with those whom God has sent you.  What is of God will last.  It belongs to the eternal life.  Choose it, and it will be yours

(Henri Nouwen)

 

Silently, how silently,                                                                                                                                                   The wondrous gift is given                                                                                                                                             So God imparts, to human hearts                                                                                                                                   The blessings of His heaven

(O Little Town of Bethlehem – Phillip Brooks)

 

The words of this, well known, carol greeted the introduction to my time with God this morning.  I am one of those people that really enjoys silence.  I find, within silence there is space for me to reflect and connect with God.  The words of Philip Brooks carol really speak to me.

As I turned to the scriptures this morning, the passage was one that I particularly love, Matthew 1 vs.18 -24.  The passage concerns Joseph and the Angel.  The Angel informs Joseph that Mary is pregnant by the Holy Spirit and he should not be afraid to take Mary as his wife.

I love this passage because, I find Joseph such a fascinating character.  He is the “silent man” of the Gospel story.  None of the Gospels record a single word that Joseph said. It is implied, in places, that he said something but neither Matthew, Mark, Luke or John write any of his words down. He may be silent but, Matthew records something that speaks volumes about him;

Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man…

(Matthew 1 vs. 19)

I wonder how Joseph must have felt when he heard that Mary was pregnant, betrayed or angry?  But, as Matthew reveals, Joseph’s first thought is how to protect Mary and ensure her safety.  In some respects, the fact that Joseph has no recorded words is not important, his character speaks volumes. 

As I thought about Joseph, I also reflected on the words of the Angel to him;

Joseph son of David, do not be afraid…

(Matthew 1 vs. 20)

I have come to think of righteousness as “living right before God and before others”.  Because Joseph was living rightly before God, and rightly before others, there was nothing for him to fear. 

To my way of thinking, a lot of fear arises in us when the enemy finds those little secret things in our lives that we don’t want anybody else to know about.  When the enemy finds them, he picks at them and picks at them.  Often, our response is to try to bury them deeper.  To live right before God means that our lives must be an “open book” before Him and when we do that, there is no fear.

Now, I have got to know myself pretty well over the years – I have had 21 plus VAT years of practice!  I know that I have my weak spots, I know that I fail and mess things up more regularly than I care to admit and this has led me on to another stream of reflection.  I have been the boundaries that I set in my life.

A boundary serves two functions.  Firstly, it keeps in those things that I want in my life like peace, hope and joy.  It’s second function is to keep out those things that I don’t want in my life like anger, resentment and negative thinking.

I have come to realise that, if I am to live in right relationship with God and with others then, I have to set the right boundaries.  I am beginning to unpack what this means for me but, I wonder what it might mean for you?

Friendly insiders, get along! Hostile outsiders, keep your distance!

(Psalm 122 vs. 7 – The Message) 

 

There are two subjects I hate preaching on.

The first is anything to do with s_x (I blush as I type).  The second is money (no blush but, a distinct feeling of discomfort).  Unfortunately, both subjects appear in the Bible because, the Bible is about the reality of life and the God who is intimately involved in all aspects of life.

I suppose I dislike both subjects because, I regard them as private and personal.  I can remember, in my early days as a Christian, a visiting preacher saying it was a great honour to speak about the subject of giving.  I have never felt that way.

Sometimes, you just cannot avoid it…

I have been spending a little time in the Gospel of Luke chapters 20 and 21 over the past couple of weeks and money appears in both of them.  In Luke 20, Jesus has the conversation about taxes and ends with His amazing response “render to Caesar that which belongs to Caesar and to God that which belongs to God”.

As chapter 20 draws to a close, Jesus is involved in some pretty full on parable telling and teaching so, as chapter 21 opens Jesus stops to draw breath and spots a widow putting two copper coins into the Temple Treasury – you can read it for yourself in Luke 21 vs. 1 – 5. This story is commonly called the Widows Mite.

As I read this story (which I have used when forced into preaching on the dreaded “m” word), I saw something in it I hadn’t seen before.  I realised that Jesus draws His disciples attention to it because, something within Him was stirred by her actions.  Her simple act of putting something that was, in financial terms of the time, worth next to nothing caused Jesus to have an emotional response.

As I thought about it, I have come to believe that this particular moment really blessed Jesus.

The Temple stood at the heart of Jewish religious and civil life at the time.  There would have been activity all around, people coming and going the great and the good, the important and the lowly all paying into the treasury.  Yet, Jesus doesn’t seem to notice them, instead He sees a poor widow put in two copper coins and it blessed Him.

With all that was going on around, all that He had to do, all the demands He faced Jesus could have easily missed this moment but, He doesn’t.  Jesus is attentive to what His Father wants to show Him.

The key to receiving God’s blessing is attentiveness.

Chris Chapman, in his book Earthed in God (Canterbury Press 2018) says that we have to develop the practice of attentiveness.  He goes on to explain how we can develop this practice saying;

 

• What is it that I see, and why does it touch me?
• Why do I feel such excitement or sadness, attraction or fear?
• How are you at work in my life, and how can I co-operate with you?

 

We hover over the moment, avoiding the temptation to simply move on.  There is something to see here – something to learn. But to perceive it we must stay still

(page 77)

Try it for yourself.

Take a moment to stop (it doesn’t have to be long).

Breathe.

Notice.

What are you drawn to see?  What feeling arise within you?

What might God be saying to you?

Who knows, you may see something that really blesses your socks off!

I was in two minds whether or not to put “pen to paper” and share these thoughts with you or not.  They are not in any way complete but, they are something that I feel God has been speaking to me about recently.

I have been really challenged over the past few weeks over the way that I see.  I do not mean that in the physical sense of the words but, I suppose the best way of describing it is, how I see.

This morning, as I sat with my Bible and had some time with God, I read a familiar passage that produced such strong feelings in me I needed to look carefully at why I felt as I did.  I believe God brought me back to the same thought, it’s how I see that needed to be addressed.

I share these thoughts with you not as somebody who has arrived at my destination but, is on a journey. 

So, my passage this morning was The Parable Of The Great Banquet. The story is of a man who plans a great celebration and invites guests to attend the banquet.  It must have been a real honour to be on the guest list of the sumptuous feast that the host had put so much effort into.  The story goes that each of the invited guests turns down the invitation with what appears to be pretty rubbish excuses.

The host calls his servants together and then sends them out to the “highways and bye ways” to drag in those who would not normally be seen amongst good company.  If you want to read the passage in full, you can in Luke’s Gospel chapter 14 vs 15 – 24. Jesus tells us the hosts’ response;

I tell you, not one of those men who were invited will get a taste of my banquet.

(Luke 14 vs. 15 – 24)

When I have thought about this parable in the past, I have seen myself in the role of the servant.  I am to go out and find those who will welcome an invitation to the feast.

Today was different, I was drawn to the character of the host.  As I thought about the host I felt two very powerful emotion arise within me – disappointment and rejection.

I thought about the time and trouble that the host had put into the feast.  I thought about the expense.  I thought about how he would have gone to that extra trouble for his friends. 

I also thought about the “slap in the face” that the excuses would have presented.  The field would still be there tomorrow.  The new oxen could be test driven tomorrow.  As for the chap whose wife wouldn’t let him out, well…..

That’s the thing with friends they have the power to encourage and the power to disappoint.  When we believe in our friends and they let us down, the hurt they cause is powerful.  I don’t think there are many people who have gone through life without being disappointed by those we thought of as friends.

Now, here is the bit I wasn’t sure about sharing….

I am a Church minister.  I am supposed to have this “Christianity thing” all together.  I am meant to be mister nice guy.  The shocking thing is I am also human and, therefore, I get disappointed – regularly!

As I sat with God, I felt He wanted me to talk to Him about my own disappointments.   I don’t need to spell out names, dates and places.  The horrible truth is that those occasions do, sometimes, raise their heads and they still hurt even after many years. 

It’s not as if I haven’t forgiven, I have, on multiple occasions.  I pray for God’s blessing on the people and the places but, there are times still when I feel the pain. I have to accept that those hurts run very deep and will take a long time to heal.  I trust that God will bring me deeper into forgiveness and healing if I allow His Holy Spirit to keep working in my heart.

I think, what God was saying to me was, at the times those hurts arise change your focus.  Look at what you have not at what you haven’t.  Do not focus on the disappointment, focus on those who are with you, encouraging you, supporting you.

The host of The Great Banquet must have been disappointed at the lack of his ‘friends’ support but, in the process, he had made of lot of new friends he had never met before!

Does, maybe, God want to speak to you about changing your focus?