Fountain's Thoughts

I was in two minds whether or not to put “pen to paper” and share these thoughts with you or not.  They are not in any way complete but, they are something that I feel God has been speaking to me about recently.

I have been really challenged over the past few weeks over the way that I see.  I do not mean that in the physical sense of the words but, I suppose the best way of describing it is, how I see.

This morning, as I sat with my Bible and had some time with God, I read a familiar passage that produced such strong feelings in me I needed to look carefully at why I felt as I did.  I believe God brought me back to the same thought, it’s how I see that needed to be addressed.

I share these thoughts with you not as somebody who has arrived at my destination but, is on a journey. 

So, my passage this morning was The Parable Of The Great Banquet. The story is of a man who plans a great celebration and invites guests to attend the banquet.  It must have been a real honour to be on the guest list of the sumptuous feast that the host had put so much effort into.  The story goes that each of the invited guests turns down the invitation with what appears to be pretty rubbish excuses.

The host calls his servants together and then sends them out to the “highways and bye ways” to drag in those who would not normally be seen amongst good company.  If you want to read the passage in full, you can in Luke’s Gospel chapter 14 vs 15 – 24. Jesus tells us the hosts’ response;

I tell you, not one of those men who were invited will get a taste of my banquet.

(Luke 14 vs. 15 – 24)

When I have thought about this parable in the past, I have seen myself in the role of the servant.  I am to go out and find those who will welcome an invitation to the feast.

Today was different, I was drawn to the character of the host.  As I thought about the host I felt two very powerful emotion arise within me – disappointment and rejection.

I thought about the time and trouble that the host had put into the feast.  I thought about the expense.  I thought about how he would have gone to that extra trouble for his friends. 

I also thought about the “slap in the face” that the excuses would have presented.  The field would still be there tomorrow.  The new oxen could be test driven tomorrow.  As for the chap whose wife wouldn’t let him out, well…..

That’s the thing with friends they have the power to encourage and the power to disappoint.  When we believe in our friends and they let us down, the hurt they cause is powerful.  I don’t think there are many people who have gone through life without being disappointed by those we thought of as friends.

Now, here is the bit I wasn’t sure about sharing….

I am a Church minister.  I am supposed to have this “Christianity thing” all together.  I am meant to be mister nice guy.  The shocking thing is I am also human and, therefore, I get disappointed – regularly!

As I sat with God, I felt He wanted me to talk to Him about my own disappointments.   I don’t need to spell out names, dates and places.  The horrible truth is that those occasions do, sometimes, raise their heads and they still hurt even after many years. 

It’s not as if I haven’t forgiven, I have, on multiple occasions.  I pray for God’s blessing on the people and the places but, there are times still when I feel the pain. I have to accept that those hurts run very deep and will take a long time to heal.  I trust that God will bring me deeper into forgiveness and healing if I allow His Holy Spirit to keep working in my heart.

I think, what God was saying to me was, at the times those hurts arise change your focus.  Look at what you have not at what you haven’t.  Do not focus on the disappointment, focus on those who are with you, encouraging you, supporting you.

The host of The Great Banquet must have been disappointed at the lack of his ‘friends’ support but, in the process, he had made of lot of new friends he had never met before!

Does, maybe, God want to speak to you about changing your focus?

I am, dear reader, old enough to remember what the world was like BMP – Before Mobile Phone!  I can even remember the days before we had a telephone in our house so, if you needed to make a call, you had to find a call box and make sure you had enough 2p pieces with you.  Just for the record, I do not recall the world pre-decimalisation!

Please don’t get me wrong.  I am not anti-technology.  I have a smart phone and a tablet.  I like social media and enjoy being able to keep “in touch” with people.  I am, however, aware that technology can overtake my life and become my focus rather than an aid to my living.

It’s sometimes easier to spot the fault in others.  I have seen the person who is so attached to their mobile that, they are oblivious to all around them.  Whether it’s the person with a child in push chair, ignoring the child whilst the mobile is the focus as they chat to friend about what they watched on TV last night.  The person who is so busy arranging to meet somebody, via their mobile whilst bumping into people around him.  When it comes to people trying to drive and texting at the same time – don’t get me started (prepares to drag out soap box!).  But, before I become self-righteous, and point out the specks of sawdust in their eyes, I need to look at the plank in my own.

I was reading some words of Jesus, this morning, that got me thinking about this;

I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinegrower.

(John 15 vs. 1)

As I read this passage it spoke to me afresh about the word “connection”.

I think there is a need in all of us to be “connected”.  In fact, I would go as far as to say human beings were made for connection, with each other and with God.  As we get drawn into the virtual world, real connections do not happen.  I no longer speak to those around me when it’s “easier” to send a quick text!

As we become disconnected from each other, I think we are in danger of disconnecting ourselves from God too.  For the branch to produce grapes, it has to be connected to the vine.  Jesus also speaks about the branches that wither and die, I see these as suffering the effects of disconnection.

So, let me get a bit personal here, be honest, do feel connected or disconnected from God at this time?  Wouldn’t it good to talk to God about why you answered as you did?

Sometimes, when I read the Bible, I like to imagine myself within the story.   I ask myself, who am I, what can I see, touch, hear and smell.   I find this really helpful when it is a well-known story and a text that I am tempted to almost “skip over” and so would miss what God may be wanting to say to me.

This morning I was in for a bit of a surprise!

I was faced with a story I had read countless times from Luke’s Gospel chapter 10.  Jesus is invited to stay in the home of Martha and Mary.  Martha does all the work and Mary sits at Jesus feet.  If you want to read it for yourself, you will find it in Luke 10 vs. 38 – 42.

Now, as I said, I have read it countless times before.  I have even imagined myself in it before.  The last time I looked at this passage I was one of Jesus’ followers who was tired from the trek and looking forward to a good meal (I do enjoy my food).

As I pictured the scene in my mind I could see Mary sat at Jesus’ feet and I felt a sudden surge of what I can only describe as resentment.  I realised that (please excuse the clumsy phrasing) I was a Martha when I really wanted to be a Mary!

As I looked through the Bible story, it was one word in verse that spoke to me;

But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things

(Luke 10 vs. 41)

I was distracted.

At that moment, I was wanting to give my focus and full attention to God but, in reality, my mind was elsewhere.  I wanted to sit in God’s presence and know of His peace and love surrounding me when, in reality, my mind was distracted by the difficult meeting, the mountain of paperwork, the phone calls I needed to make, getting ready for another meeting, preparing talks, handling e-mails and why is there nobody that can help me?

I was a Martha when I wanted to be a Mary and I am sure I am not the only one who has experienced this.

I cannot ignore my distractions because, they are the very really tasks and challenges of my working day but, I can choose where I allow myself to focus.  Let me try and explain what I mean.  Martha was doing nothing wrong, she was only wanting to be a good host however, her timing was out!  She should have taken the opportunity to join Mary at Jesus feet.  Then, when the time was right, Martha and Mary together would have been able to do what needed to be done.

I shared with Jesus those things that were distracting me.  He wasn’t surprised.  He knew about them anyway.  For a few moments, I was able to park them and become a Mary.  I enjoyed just sitting in His presence knowing He was there with me at that moment and I got to listen to Him.

There are a couple of verses He spoke to me about and, maybe, He wants to remind you of them too;

“Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.”

(Matthew 6 vs. 33 – 34 The Message) 

As a small child I was sent to Sunday School where we used to sing the chorus

The best book to read is the Bible

The best book to read is the Bible

If you read it every day,

It will help you on your way

Oh the best book to read is the Bible

Through Sunday School I learnt the stories of Jesus and encountered some of the heroes of the Old Testament, like David the little boy who killed the big giant.

As I grew into adulthood and discovered faith, my reading changed.  I was privileged, through the churches I attended, to hear some wonderful preaching from people that helped to grow a real love of scripture in me. 

I was taught the value of a “daily quiet time”.  Read a portion of the Bible alongside some notes and spend some time in prayer.  It was a great discipline and one that I would not knock.  There have been times when this has been profoundly helpful and equally, times when I have struggled with it.  I still try (with varying degrees of success) and do this as part of my own daily pattern.

When I went into ministry, my focus in reading the Bible changed.  The Bible seemed to become a “tool of the trade”.  I found that each time I read a passage I saw it as a potential sermon.  I would, for example, look at my quiet time passage and start trying to find “three points” to preach from.  I found it really hard to just read scripture just for the sheer joy of encountering God through His word.  To combat this urge within, I used two Bibles.  One was “exclusively” for sermon preparation and one was “exclusively” for my personal time with God!

I have been reflecting on this struggle for some time now and I have found that my relationship with the Bible is changing again.  I have tried a few times to put into words what is happening and nothing that I wrote seemed to make sense – even to me.  Yesterday, I read this from Henri Nouwen that seems to capture where I am with the Bible at the moment;

The writer to the Hebrews says this;

For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

(Hebrews 4 vs. 12)

If I want the living word of God to impact my life, speak into my situations guide me and grow me I have to be willing to let the Bible speak for itself and allow it’s words to penetrate, as Henri Nouwen says, to those places where no other word has yet found entrance.

I wonder, how do you allow God’s word to speak to you?

Last week I got the chance to go on retreat for a few days.  I had been really looking forward to it.  For a little while my relationship with God had felt a little stale and some of the things I had been dealing with through work had got me a little out of sorts – nothing drastic, just that feeling inside.  I knew that I needed to get away with God for a couple of days.

On our first evening, we were told we would get the chance to watch a film.  As our evening began, I discovered that the film we were to watch was “The Shack”.  I had never seen the film before but, a few years back, I had read the book and had not got on with it.  I knew the book was an allegory and not intended as a work of theology.  I had read the criticism of Wm Paul Young’s views.  I suppose because I had read it in “bits and pieces”, I found it hard to follow and found myself frustrated by it.

As soon as we were told that the film was “The Shack”, my heart sank.  I found feelings within me to watch the film with a distinct attitude of justification for my previously held dislike.  Much less, did I expect God to speak to me through it.  But, speak He did!

I found that as I was drawn into Mack’s story, I began to feel some gentle nudges from God.  The most powerful came when Mack received the invitation to go to “The Shack”, the words just seemed to leap off the screen at me.  There were many other things too but, space does not permit them!

That night I struggled to sleep.  I found myself dreaming about my own past and some of the worries I have in the present.  Some of the dreams could, perhaps, be best described as nightmares.  In the early hours of the following day I decided to give up with sleep and keep myself awake, it was much safer that way.

As our new day began it was to be a day of silence.  There was an art exhibition to help our thinking and spark our imaginations into prayer.  One quote I saw really spoke to me, it came from the basement of a concentration camp;

I believe in the sun even when it is not shining

I believe in love even when I cannot feel it

I believe in God even when He is silent

 

Accompanying that quote was a painting that looked like a swirl of blackness.  But, when you stood at a particular angle, there was the face of Jesus hidden within it.  As I gazed at the picture, I felt God saying to me “it’s time to come to The Shack”.  In the story, The Shack represents Mack’s heart.  It’s a dark place where the hurt and the pain of his “great sadness” are stored.

My story is very different to Mack’s and very very different to Wm Paul Young but, I have a Shack too.  It’s the place where I store up my hurts, failures, regrets, anger and the memories of all that has bred my insecurities.  God’s invitation to “come to the Shack” was frightening, I don’t like visiting my shack because, it’s a place of my pain.

In the story, when Mack goes to the Shack (nice little rhyme that!) he has an encounter which brings him healing and transformation.  What struck me was that, in the film, is The Shack is shown as a dark place the lighting is dim, it is a place of shadows.  As soon as Mack has his encounter it’s a place of colours and brightness.  It reminded me of a verse in the Bible which says;

For nothing is hidden that will not be disclosed, nor is anything secret that will not become known and come to light.

(Luke 8 vs. 17 – NRSV)

I had always seen those words as a bit of a threat. I don’t want anyone to know what is in my shack or, how it had got there.  Imagine the horror of having your deepest darkest secrets on full display for the world to see!

What I found was, as I went to my shack, it wasn’t everyone else who knew about it.  There was me and one other there and, that one other, already knew what was in my shack and He wasn’t horrified, angry or embarrassed by me.  He simply wanted to bring into the light what I was hiding in darkness so that He could bring forgiveness and healing.

I spent a long time at my shack with God that day.  As the afternoon approached, I went back to my shack and I lay down. I awoke 3 hours later having had the deepest most refreshing sleep for a long while.

I wonder where and how you will encounter God today?

This week, in our area, marked the kids returning to school.  One of my aunties always used to tell me that “your school days are the best days of your life”.

I hated school.

I hated school assemblies.  I can remember sitting cross legged in the school hall that seemed to smell permanently of bad feet and boiled cabbage.  I can remember the half-hearted singing of hymns and the headmaster marching up and down yelling “sing” at any child he thought was not putting enough effort into it.  Even now, I hear the words or tunes of certain songs and they invoke really powerful memories for me.

I have always associated “Dear Lord and Father of mankind” with school.  I cannot bring myself to sing the proper words to “Morning has broken”.  Our version went;

Morning has broken

Somebody dropped it

Teacher has spoken

Let’s go to sleep

 

As a child, you tried to sneak the alternative words in without the teacher working out who done it.  As an adult looking back, I now understand the poetry of the words.  I can see what they were trying to convey. They spoke about God’s perfect creation.  They spoke about a world in harmony.  They spoke about a world set at peace with itself.

But that was not the world I knew then and, that is not the world I know now.

The world in which we live, is not the world that God created it to be.  Humanity walked away from God’s will and design and so the relationship was spoiled.

If you trace the history of the nations of Israel and Judah it reads like a pattern of “close to God the nation does well” and “away from God, the nations fall apart”.  There came a time in their history when they had strayed so far from God’s plans and purposes that they lost the nation altogether and ended up in exile in Babylon.

But, what the Bible teaches is, with God there is always hope.

This morning, we read chapter 35 from the book of Isaiah. I reflected on the fact that sometimes the Bible uses particular words that are loaded with significance.  The word that was significant for me in this chapter was the word “desert”.  I saw this word as an illustration meaning, not the natural state of things.  A desert is a tragedy.  A desert speaks of failure.  The desert is the place of regret.

I think many of us end up living in the desert of life.

So, we are faced with a choice.  We either dig in if we are going to get through; tough it out.  Or, we get beaten by it

The passage in Isaiah 35 tells us that the desert doesn’t have the last word.  The desert does not have the victory

The desert and the parched land will be glad; the wilderness will rejoice and blossom. Like the crocus, it will burst into bloom; it will rejoice greatly and shout for joy. The glory of Lebanon will be given to it, the splendour of Carmel and Sharon; they will see the glory of the LORD, the splendour of our God.

(Isaiah 35 vs. 1 – 2)

The desert can never have the last word because even in the worst of situations, God can work to bring about His purposes and His plans.

The rich young man walked away from Jesus.  Ever since he could remember, he had kept the rules.  Done the right thing.  He had attended all the festivals, associated with the right people, been seen by the great and the good.  Yet, in just a few short words, Jesus had put his finger part of his life that was not up for discussion.

There was nothing wrong with having money, was there?  He liked his nice clothes, he liked to look good.  He enjoyed eating out at the top class restaurants, being seen in the right places.  He had hot and cold running servants, well why not?  At least it gave jobs to the poor.

There was the odd occasion when his income had dipped.  Business plans not quite to schedule, investments not given the rate of return that was promised.  Those were the times when his temper came to the forefront.  Nobody would cross him in business.  He could be a little ruthless at times, he admitted that, after all it was HIS money.

He looked at some of his friends.  He saw what they had.  The latest.  The best.  The new design.  He wanted that too.  After all it was HIS money.

What I think Jesus saw when he looked at the rich young man (Matthew 19 vs. 16 – 30) was somebody who was trapped.  He was trapped by his wealth.  We may think wealth is a nice problem to have, particularly if we are not overly rich by our societies standards.  Jesus, however, challenges that concept because that young man’s identity had become wrapped up in what he owned not, in who he was.

After the rich young man has walked away Jesus then goes on to speak about the values of the Kingdom of God.  Camels through the eye of a needle, first being last and the last being first.  His kingdom does not seem to fit into our world view of success.  He reminds us that God’s doesn’t always see things the way the world teaches us to see things.  What the world says is of value is not necessarily what God says is valuable.

This was the passage I was reflecting on during my quiet time this morning.  As I thought about the rich young ruler and Jesus response to His disciples questions I found myself thinking about a word that I do not hear very often.  It was word “contentment”.

One of the ways that our world functions is through the power of consumerism.  Consumerism creates a grey area between needs and wants.  It can lead us to, selfishly, focus on self, whilst claiming to empower us.  It can lead to greed and can be as addictive as any drug.  For some people “retail therapy” is more than a joke, it has become their drug of choice!

The antidote to this problem is found in contentment.  The Apostle Paul writes;

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

(Philippians 4 vs. 11 13)

And to his friend Timothy, he writes;

But godliness with contentment is great gain. 

(1 Timothy 6 vs. 6)

 

It seems, contentment will require us to challenge our current world view and seek God’s views, values and standards.  So, as I thought about these words, I looked at my own life and asked some tough questions of myself.  Am I satisfied with what I have or, am I always wanting more?  Am I content or striving?  What are the things I see valuable?  What would make my life “complete”?

I took a few moments bring my answers to God and, maybe, you would like to do the same.

I then thought again about my own life and listed those things that I was grateful to God for today.  As I did, I began to feel a real sense of contentment and gratitude for the many blessings that God has given to me.

Why not give it a go and try it for yourself?

This morning, I undertook a bit of gardening.

Those who know me will know I am not much of a gardener.  I struggle to tell weed from plant, sunflower from green bean.  But, when it comes to the sort of job that requires a bit of brute force and ignorance, I’m your man!

Our neighbour had pointed out that one of our fence panels was getting very damaged by an ivy plant that has been in the garden for years.  But, acting on my neighbours concerns, I armed myself with some shears and a saw and began to tackle the plant.

The surface of the plant looked quite nice, even fairly attractive. As I began to remove the surface layers, I saw that the plant was twisted, intertwined, parts of it were quite thick through years of being left to grow.  What looked, on the face of it, a fairly straightforward job, began to get heavier and harder.

Once I had got the plant down, I could see the full extent of the damaged fence beneath.  My neighbour had seen what I could not.

This incident got me thinking.

As we go through life we can pick up knocks and bruises along the way.  Our natural desire is to protect ourselves and so we allow things to “grow” around us as a form of hedge of protection.  What we don’t always see is the damage these things can be doing to us.

Like my ivy plant, we sometimes need to do a bit of radical uprooting in our lives.  We need to face, head on, the false hedge of protection that can causes so much damage.

I thought about some of the hedges of protection I have allowed to grow around me over the years.  If I am honest, pulling up some of them, feels like incredibly hard work, have I the strength to do it?  However, I do not have to face this work alone.  God, by the power of His Holy Spirit can and will work within us to clear away those things that damage.  Here is what the Apostle Paul writes;

God can do anything, you know – far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.

(Ephesians 3 vs. 20 – The Message)  

 

I love that phrase “deeply and gently within us”.

He works within us as we, honestly, open our hearts to Him and allow Him to change us from the inside out.

I read something in a blog today that caused me to panic.

This particular blog was about writing, communication and social media.  The writer was talking about how the summertime was good for planning and making improvements to your media profile.  The writer went on to advise;

If you are feeling brave, you may even want to tackle your WiP

I had never seen those initials before.  I did not know what WiP was.

I have a love hate relationship with Twitter, I do a bit with Facebook, I have a blog.  I have never got into podcasting or vlogging was WiP some new social media platform?

I began to panic.

I felt as though there was a new world out there which I was not part of.  In the face of WiP, I was an outsider, excluded.  I wanted to find out what was involved in WiP, was there an app? I wanted to get on the inside track and then I could proudly say “I am on Twitter, Facebook, blog and WiP”.

You cannot begin to imagine how foolish and relieved I was when I discovered that WiP stands for Work In Progress. In the context of the blog I was reading summer is a good time to tackle some of the work in progress that has been in the background for a little while.

As I reflected on my folly, I began to think about the importance of the we use.

Our words are powerful.  We all know that we can say words that help, heal or hurt and damage but, the language we use has the power to include or exclude too.  Sometimes, the language we use helps us to identify those who are part of the “in-crowd” and those who “don’t belong”.

I remember, when I was training for the ministry, hearing a story of a preacher from Victorian times.  When he had finished preparing his sermons, he would summon his cook and preach the sermon to her.  He did this because, he felt, if his cook could not understand it, it wasn’t worth preaching!

I don’t have a cook, or servants!  But, the incident with the blog was a real warning to me about the language that I use.  Do the words I use include or, exclude others?

Over the past couple of weeks, I have been preaching from the “Lost and Found” stories in Luke chapter 15;

One day when many tax collectors and other outcasts came to listen to Jesus, the Pharisees and the teachers of the Law started grumbling, “This man welcomes outcasts and even eats with them!”

(Luke 15 vs. 1 – 2 Good News Bible)

 

Jesus then tells them 3 stories to make a point that, with God, there is no such thing as an outcast because, God welcomes all.

I hope our language reflects that!