Ruth-less Or A Less Than Glorious Memory…

Image by Nicky ❤️🌿🐞🌿❤️ from Pixabay

It’s been an interesting few days.

I have been at the EBA Minister’s Conference, which is always a joy (for the record, I am not being sarcastic).  It was wonderful catching up with old friends and, making some new ones along the way. The content was great. There was a good balance between the input received but also the space needed for reflection and networking.  To crown it all, the cooked breakfast is always a treat!

Our Bible studies focussed on the book of Ruth which, if I am honest, was a bit of a challenge for me. I know some people have described it as their favourite book but, I have never understood why. Maybe, I have regarded it as a bit of a Mills and Boon style romance with a slight hint of naughtiness. Maybe I have felt it as unrelatable in my life and circumstances, I know it contains that famous verse;

Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. 

(Ruth 1 vs. 16)

But, is that all there is to it?

Okay, Ruth is an ancestor of King David and is an ancestor of Jesus but, so are many others and they don’t get a book named after them!!!

I can remember, in the dim and distant past, doing a series on Ruth. The series was not one of my finest. In fact, I made a dogs dinner of it.  I came away from it feeling that I had missed the point entirely and, from the feedback I received, the congregation hadn’t got a clue about what I was on about – but then, neither had I! Since that time, I have never dared to revisit it.  It is not a memory I cherish and one that I feel a little embarrassed by.

Let’s face it, nobody likes to go back to the things that we really messed up or, is that just me?

As I attended the first talk, it was with trepidation I turned to the book of Ruth. It was the opening words that really hit me.  They speak of a time that was not so glorious in the history of the people of Israel;

In the days when the judges ruled

(Ruth 1 vs. 1)

In those seven words, we are carried back to a time when the nation is caught up in a vicious cycle of

As you read the Book of Judges, you find yourself asking “don’t these people ever learn!”  The words of George Santanyana ring true;

Those who do not learn from their history, are doomed to repeat it.

And that is it with the things that we mess up in life.  Sometimes, we need to go back and face the embarrassment, the guilt and the shame not so that we can dwell in them but, so that we can learn from them.  Our past mistakes have something to teach us.  Anthony DeMello said;

Be grateful for your sins, they are carriers of grace

Although I struggle with idea of being grateful for my sins, I can see that if my mistakes bring me closer to God then, they can be carriers of grace.

Will I continue to mess up and make mistakes?  Undoubtedly!  But, I hope through them I will continue to grow in my relationship with God.

Will I re-visit my series on the Book of Ruth and try again?  Let’s just say, the jury is still out on that one!

My Shadow Keeps Following Me

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Shadows are following me around, at the moment.  No, I have not lost the plot!  Shadows have been appearing in my readings of late. Let me explain.

Yesterday, I conducted a memorial / celebration of life service for one of our Church members. The reading at the service was from the 23rd Psalm and I felt led to focus on one verse in particular;

Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley;
I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

(Psalm 23 vs. 4)

Although I am a bit of a fan of the NIV (the Nearly Infallible Version – as somebody once described it to me), I do feel that the poetic image of the King James Version is a better rendition of this verse;

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil: for thou art with me;

thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

(Psalm 23 vs. 4)

As I mentioned, during the talk, there is an essential element for a shadow to form – light.  If there is no light, there can be no shadow.  The darker the shadow, the more intense the light.

But, as I said, shadows are following me around at the moment.  Today’s shadow appeared in a book I am reading at the moment The Jesuit Guide to (almost) Everything – a Spirituality for Real Life) (2010) written by James Martin.  In it, he quotes a Spiritual Director, Bill Creed, as saying;

In the bright sunshine of God’s love, your shadows begin to emerge

(page 76)

This really hit me!  It was the psychoanalyst Carl Jung who taught that all human’s have a “shadow side.”  He saw it as the uncivilised, primitive side of our nature.  I had always been taught that my shadow side was, somehow, sinful un-loveable and represented the worst part of me.  An article published by Harley Mental Therapy seems to support this idea;

We all have a shadow self.  It is generally made up of the parts of ourselves we deem unacceptable.  For many people the means things like our sadness, rage, laziness and cruelty.  But you might also see as uncivilised and unacceptable things like your personal power, your independence, or your emotional sensitivity

(www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/shadow-self.htm)

Somehow, in my thinking, my shadow side had become about shame, secrecy, those things that I would want to keep hidden and yes – even hidden from God.  As I thought about Bill Creed’s statement, I began to think of my shadow side in a different way.  Instead of shame I saw a part of me that needs healing by the warmth of God’s love and light.

Are shadows following you?  

Lead me not into…

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Oscar Wilde, in his play Lady Windermere’s Fan, writes;

I can resist anything except temptation

(Oscar Wilde)

It is the season of Lent.  Some people use this season to give things up for a period of 40 days.  They do this as a symbolic act to remember the 40 days and nights that Jesus fasted in the wilderness. But, the gospels tell us, Jesus was not alone during his time of fasting, the tempter was there too;

The tempter came to him and said…..

(Matthew 4 vs. 3a)

The three temptations presented to Jesus were, turn stones into bread, throw yourself from the top of the temple, bow down to Satan.  One commentator describes these as hedonism, egoism, and materialism.  I like Henri Nouwen’s description of these as Relevance, Popularity and Power.

On the surface there appears nothing wrong with these temptations.  Jesus was hungry after the 40 days of fasting so, why not use what power you have to get food?  Jesus had a task to fulfil, why not perform one spectacular act and get the job done?  Jesus is king, why not take a quick route to claim all the kingdoms of the earth?

Of course, Jesus recognizes that the danger with each of these.  There is a barbed hook beneath the surface bait! Below the surface of these temptations is self-reliance, a desire to put my will above that of Gods’.  I don’t know about you but,

Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa (through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault).

It seems to me that temptation, in life, is a daily battle we must all face.  So, why do we face temptation and is there any benefit from facing it and overcoming it?

Today, as part of my quiet time, I was reading a passage in Mark’s gospel and came across some words of Jesus I had not spotted before;

Everyone will be salted with fire

(Mark 9 vs. 49)

Salt, in Jesus day, was used as a preservative, for flavouring and as an antiseptic.  But, I wondered, what does “being salted with fire” mean?

Jesus had just been talking about temptation and being aware of those things that cause us to stumble.  He suggests plucking out our eyes or cutting off our hands.  Please note, these are not to be taken literally!!!!  He uses this exaggerated form of speech, to warn us of the potential seriousness of what can lay behind temptation. He then says;

Everyone will be salted with fire

(Mark 9 vs. 49)

As I dwelt with these words, I felt that God was saying to me;

Temptation can refine you, do not let it define you.

And I am taking that with me into the coming day.

Some Reflections on Baptist Life

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Many years ago, I took the decision to be Baptized and became a Baptist Minister.  A Minister friend, on the day I received my handshake from the then President the Baptist Union of Great Britain, said “welcome to the elite!”

I liked the Baptist Union. I liked what it stood for, and what it represented. I enjoyed fellowship with other ministers, I found their company stimulating and encouraging.  I felt that I was learning a lot and growing through the experience.  I became an enthusiastic supporter of the Regional Association, to which the Church I was serving, belonged.  I liked our Regional Minister’s and held them with respect in prayer.

But, as I have journeyed through my various ministries over the years, I have seen the Baptist Union change.  Regional Ministers have come and gone, structures at Baptist House and in our governance have changed. I am not sure if we are still the Baptist Union of Great Britain or are we now, officially, Baptist’s Together?  Of course, the world has moved on since that day in Plymouth when I walked up the steps onto the platform and received my handshake.

Like many, I mourn the passing of the many things I enjoyed and felt blessed by.  I mourn the good people who have moved on from our Baptist family to serve God in other fields. I know that, in the coming years, there will be many more changes

Of course, the Baptist Union is not the only thing to have changed.  I have too.

My ministry has both shaped me and transformed me.  I am grateful to God for those Churches that have helped me to develop and explore my understanding of God, the world and my place in it.  I am grateful that I still feel at home within Baptist Churches.

Like many, I have struggled in the past year or so with some of the big issues that the Baptist family is facing at this time.  I have to say I have found some of the discussions profoundly helpful, and some less so.  I have been saddened by the tone of some of the debates.  I appreciate that people hold strong views on some issues and, that passion, can lead to some harsh sounding responses.

I do not think I am the only Baptist Minister who has found myself asking the question “is there still a place for me in the Baptist family?” This has not been an idle thought, it is a question I have considered long and hard. 

My conclusion?

I am staying! 

Yes, the Baptist family is not perfect but, neither am I

Yes, the Baptist family has it’s disagreements but, so do I

Yes, in my view the Baptist family gets some things wrong but, so do I

I am a part of this mixed up, messed up family which, at its heart seeks to serve God.

My thoughts were settled when I read this quote from Thomas Merton;

The first and most elementary test of one’s call to the religious life is the willingness to accept life in a community in which everyone is more or less imperfect.

(Thomas Merton – The Seven Storey Mountain)

This does not excuse bad behaviour, nor does it condone it.  It simply reflects the reality that, we are all imperfect.

Deadheading the roses

Yesterday, as I was preparing our evening meal, I took a walk into the garden armed with my secateurs.  I needed to do a bit of deadheading of the roses.

As I looked at the dead, lifeless flowers I felt a profound sense of sadness and loss.  At one time, these were beautiful scented blooms, I was rather proud of my gardening effort that had seen these plants flourish.  Now, they were nothing more than compost.

Those who know me will know I am not a gardener.  I knew that I had to deadhead the roses but, I wasn’t sure why.  So, if in doubt, ask Professor Google. This is what I found;

Faded flowers can make a plant look tatty and, after rain, they can turn into a soggy, slimy mess. This can encourage fungal infections that may lead to stem die-back. For many roses, deadheading is essential to keep them blooming and stop them looking untidy.

(https://www.google.com/search?q=why+deadhead+roses&rlz=1C1ONGR_en-GBGB943GB943&oq=why+dead+head&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0i10i512l9.4553j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8)

It would seem that deadheading not only encourages new blooms, it is also essential in keeping the plant healthy and enables it to thrive.

I wonder if the same is true in our lives.  Do we go through times of deadheading?

As I think about my own life, I have to conclude, it does.  There are times when things have drawn to a natural conclusion, other times I have needed to step away, sometimes life has just changed and I can no longer be involved with _____ (fill in your own blank!)

Often, these times have produced in me a profound sense of sadness and loss.  I am, however, coming to see these times of deadheading as part of the natural process of life and growth. 

I pray that new blooms will come in my life and in yours.

As part of my quiet time today, I read these words written by Paul;

So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace.

(2 Corinthians 4 vs. 16 -The Message) 

Oh it all makes work for the working man to do…

I know I am a Baptist but this week, it has been a bit ridiculous.

“Why?”  I hear you ask.  Well, pull up a chair and let me tell you a story….

‘Twas on the Monday Morning the builder came to call

The drive was to be re-laid

Improving access for all

(go on, admit it, some of you have a certain tune floating around your mind)

Machinery delivered and building underway. 

Later that morning, I looked out from my office window to see the builder staring down a hole full of water!  We had our own baptistery and it was in our front garden!  Now I love a good baptism, but this was worrying.

A little while later, the builder knocked on our front door to enquire if we still had water in the house.  We had, but at a very low pressure. By the afternoon, the Water supply company had joined the builder in staring down a hole full of water.  As rapidly as the builders mate was baling it out, yet more water was filling it

I decided it was time to investigate what was happening.

It turned out, that the vibrations from the machine had caused a pipe to burst.  As soon as the hole was empty, they could find out which pipe and how to fix it.

A second water supply company person arrived, complete with more machines.

Work took place and, a couple of hours later, I looked from my office window to see two builders and two water supply company people staring down a hole.  I went down to investigate.

The water company people explained that they could only fix part of the leak.  There was an emergency crew on the way, who should be able to give us water over night and then another crew would come the following day to make a permanent repair.

More workmen arrived and sometime later the water was cut and then restored.  “Great”, I thought fully expecting that the driveway could continue.

How wrong can you be?

One of the water company men knocked on the door “really sorry” he said looking somewhat embarrassed.  “When we dug down we have found lead pipes and, according to law, we have to remove them.  We don’t have the clearance to do that so, another crew will be here tomorrow morning to sort it out.”

At least we had water, albeit at low pressure.

‘Twas on the Tuesday morning nobody turned up so

‘Twas on the Wednesday morning the next crew came along,

with pick axes and shovels

and radio music on

(apologies to Flanders and Swann)

A morning of digging. A lot of digging. Various men, at various times, stood staring down various holes.

Eventually, one of workmen came and knocked on the door.  “We cannot find the main” he told us.  “at some point, the main has been renewed and nobody updated the drawings.”

The road had to be closed and a main trench dug across the road to find the main   Another crew and traffic management would be needed and they could not do that until the Thursday morning.

‘Twas on the Thursday morning and the road crew have arrived…. And there it ends (for now).  The road crew are here and we await traffic management. 

Is there a point to this saga and my writing of it?

Yes, there is.

It struck me, as I have looked down several holes recently, we do not know what lies beneath the surface. All it took was a bit of vibration on the surface and, what was below burst with unexpected consequences.

I think it is the same with people.  We don’t know what lies beneath the surface.  The stored up hurts, rejections and pain.  We only find out when something on the surface causes a burst.

Jesus once said;

your words reveal what’s within your heart.

(Luke 6 vs. 45 – The Voice)

Someone else once said that Christians are like tea bags.  It is only when they are in hot water, you discover what is inside.  That is why the writer of Proverbs says;

Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it.

(Proverbs 4 vs. 23)

So, let me encourage you, to take care of what you allow to take root in your heart.  Meanwhile, I have to go traffic management have just arrived and there a quite a few men looking down a hole!

Broken Hearted

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I grew up at the time when boys were taught “big boys don’t cry.”  Tears were seen as a sign of weakness.  If you wanted to avoid getting bullied, you soon learnt to swallow down your feelings and emotions.  One of the ways that God has brought healing into my life is the way in which I have been able to reconnect, in a healthy way, with my emotions.    

I was reading, in my Bible, a verse from Ezekiel chapter 36 vs. 26;

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.

(Ezekiel 36 vs. 26)

I was a little shocked.  I was expecting the words of the song by Daniel Schutte

I will break their hearts of stone…

I found myself asking, “is a broken heart a good thing?” From a medical perspective, it’s a no brainer!  From an emotional perspective, I was not so sure.

Billy Ray Cyrus told us not to tell his heart, his “Achey Breaky Heart.”  Elvis was dwelling in “Heartbreak Hotel” since his baby left him.  Fall Out Boy have a different opinion when they tell us “Heartbreak Feels So Good.” 

Dula Lipa doesn’t sound hopeful as she tells us, she is falling in love with someone who will “Break My Heart.”

Meanwhile, Blondie is in trouble because she has a “Heart Of Glass” and Westlife have a “Fragile Heart”, whilst Bonnie Raitt is adamant “I Aint Gonna Let You Break My Heart Again.”  As for the Bee Gees, they are totally confused, as they ask “How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?”

So, no clear answer there!  Instead, I turned to an old Rabbinical story

A man approached the Rabbi with a question.  He said “Rabbi, I have read that God commands that the Torah should be imprinted on our hearts and minds (Deuteronomy 11 vs. 18 (HCSB)).  Surely this is wrong.  God would want the Torah IN our hearts not ON our hearts.  What do you say?”

The Rabbi smiled and answered “my son, there is a problem with our hearts.  Our hearts can be so hard.  In fact they are so hard, we can only lay God’s commands on them.  When our hearts break, it is then God’s word enters in.”

Perhaps we all need a bit of heart break every now and then.

Basin and Towel

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It is a strange moment in the gospel accounts.

Jesus gets up from the table, wraps a towel around his waist and kneels to wash his disciples feet. Having preached this passage a number of times over the years, I often point out that it was the place of lowest in a household to undertake this task.

It was not the nicest of jobs to do. Hot climate, open sandals and men’s feet do not make for the nicest experience. A few years ago, I was at a united Maundy Thursday service where the Vicar was to undertake foot washing as part of the act of worship. One of those who was to have his feet washed confided in me;

We were all told to wash our feet before we came. The vicar did not want smelly feet in his face!

In that upper room, Jesus took those feet. Blistered and bunioned, fungal infected, smell and all. He knelt and washed them. It feels, to me, as an intimate moment. I wonder what thoughts went through the disciples minds? What words did Jesus say? How could Jesus kneel at Judas feet and wash them?

As I re-read the passage in my quiet time today, there were some words of Jesus that really spoke to me

I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.

John 13 vs. 15

It is one of those “ouch” verses for me. There is no excuse, no avoiding it. Jesus has shown us what he requires of us. To kneel and wash each others feet.

That “ouch” has stayed with me and so, I wrote the following prayer

Lord of the basin and towel you call your people to kneel and wash feet. But, if I am honest Lord, it’s not the most appealing job in the world. For, when I kneel, I am prone to make judgements. I am happy to wash the feet of those who deserve it but, find myself repulsed by those I deem don’t.

Lord of the basin and towel you were willing to wash your disciples feet. Among them were John, who called himself the beloved Simon Peter who would deny you and Judas who’s act of betrayal would lead to the cross. Still, you knelt and washed their feet.

Lord of the basin and towel I know I should do as you have done. But it is hard Lord, so today, I ask you to grant me the courage and the grace to follow in your footsteps. Help me to be willing to kneel and wash feet of those I think deserve it and those I think don’t. Help me to see that this is part of what it means to be your disciple and, somehow, may my faltering steps point people towards you.

AMEN

Light in Darkness

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When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life”

John 8 vs. 12

The passage that formed my quiet time today, is a well known one. As the commentator said “the passage is so familiar, its meaning has dimmed in our hearts.”

I know what he means. When I come to a familiar passage, the temptation is to skim read it rather than sit with it and allow the words to penetrate deep within.

As I sat with these familiar words today I wrote the following prayer;

Light of the world shine within me dispel the darkness within my soul. May your light transform the night in me, to become as bright as day before you.

Light of the world shine within the community where you have set me, may those who live in the darkness of despair, be touched by your light today. If that touch is to come through me, may I shine brightly for you.

Light of the world shine within the world today, may your Church fulfil it’s calling to be “salt and light” May the darkness of humanities failings, be transformed into the light of life and may the light of Christ shine bright today

These words are my prayer for today, I wonder what yours are?

Eats shoots and leaves

I was part of the generation that was not taught English grammar or punctuation at school. 

Just in case you are wondering, yes it had been invented by then!  However, our teachers felt that an over focussing on the mechanics of written structure could hinder the free flow of ideas. Some educationalists reasoned that if children had a love of literature, they would somehow “catch” the importance of grammar. 

In many ways, they were right.  In my own case, I have always had a love of literature.  From an early age, I appreciated Winnie the Pooh and the wise humour of that tubby bear.  As I entered the exam system, I discovered Shakespeare and Dickens and, through my faith, I loved the great narratives and depth of doctrine found in scripture. 

To confound the educationalists, despite my reading, I never seemed to ‘catch’ the meaning of nouns, verbs, graphemes and diagraphs (I had to look that up, as I wrote this!). 

It was only in later life, studying New Testament Greek, that I found my lack of English Grammatical knowledge hampered my learning the complexities of Greek!  I had to learn English structures before I could makes sense of the Greek structures.

As for punctuation! (or should that be a ‘?’) I still struggle to work out where the little dots and dashes on a page go.

Lynne Truss in her wonderful book “Eat, shoots and leaves” says this;

Punctuation marks are the traffic signals of language: they tell us to slow down, notice this, take a detour, and stop.)

(Eats, shoots and leaves)

In the same chapter, she gives the well-known example

Woman, without her man, is nothing

Woman: without her, man is nothing

The punctuation gives meaning to the words.

So, what does all this mean?  I have been thinking about how our lives need those moments of punctuation. 

God gave weekly punctuation, through the Sabbath.  A breath pause in the midst of life’s busy-ness.  There are times when we need a slightly longer pause through time off and holidays.  Sometimes, we need to start a new paragraph in our lives as we head in a different direction.

Whatever this year holds for you, make sure there is some punctuation in it.  It will help your life to make sense.